i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
