he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
