so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
