I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize