lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
