Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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