So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
