Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee

Fav 28 2940 992
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.

Fav 4 3210 899
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(440): View more from Ohio

i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense

Fav 23 2172 5879
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(347): View more from New York

alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

Fav 17 3916 1495
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.

Fav 23 2365 5057
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(954): View more from Florida

my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.

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(775): View more from Nevada

The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me

Fav 3 1454 800
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??

Fav 3 318 117
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