"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize