i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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