You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So much Jack, so little girl.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
