I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
