she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
