i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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