My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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