Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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