Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
