I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize