Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
