I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
