fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize