i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We just shotgunned beers for America
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
