We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
