White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
