You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
