woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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