is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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