Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
