there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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