Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize