Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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