so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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