It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
