you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
