So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
