no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
