We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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