it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
