Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
