Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
