Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
