I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize