Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
