That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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