I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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