dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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