i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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