talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
