I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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