the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
