did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
