New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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