Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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