i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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