He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
