i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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