if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
