Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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