She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
