names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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