why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
