hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
