she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
