No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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