I can tuck mytits in my pants
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
