You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
