Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
