Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize