you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
