Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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